The Illusion of Closeness: Why We Think We Know Celebs

Hey everyone! Have you ever caught yourself caring a little too much about someone on your screen? Same. In today’s blog, I’m going to be talking about that weird but kind-of-real connection we form with people we don’t actually know. The influencers we follow, the creators we admire, the ones who post just enough for us to feel like we get them... and maybe even like they get us.

We’ve all done it. We feel close to someone who doesn’t even know our name. So what does that say about the way we experience relationships now? Let’s talk about it — fandoms, parasocial bonds, emotional projection, and why all of it feels more personal than we admit

Image From: Portola Pilot

When Someone Online Starts to Feel Like a Friend

You’re just scrolling, watching, liking, and at some point, their voice is in your head like a friend’s would be. It doesn’t happen all at once. It’s slow. One day you realize you’ve been following their life for months, maybe years, and they’ve become part of your world. That’s where the line starts to blur. It’s not just admiration anymore. It starts to feel like closeness.

What Even Is a Parasocial Relationship?

It’s basically a one-sided emotional connection when you feel close to someone who has no idea you exist. But it doesn’t feel one-sided when you’re in it. Social media makes it easy to forget that. You hear their voice, see their updates, watch them grow, it starts to feel like you’re on the journey with them.

And your brain doesn’t always catch that it’s not mutual. It responds like the connection is real. That’s when things get complicated.

Fandoms: Love, Loyalty, and Pressure

Being in a fandom can feel like home. Personally, I’m in Billie Eilish’s, and there’s just something about being part of a group that shares the same love for someone’s work. It makes the music feel a little closer like you’re experiencing it together, even if you’re all strangers.

But the deeper the loyalty, the easier it is to expect something in return. Support turns into control. People want constant content, updates, and explanations. And when they don’t get that? The same fans who once hyped them up can flip. It’s not always love, sometimes it’s expectation dressed up as devotion.

When Oversharing Feels Like Intimacy

We all say we want “real” online, and yeah, sometimes we get it. People open up about their mental health, their breakups, their fears. And we connect to that. We relate. We care. But it’s still curated. We’re only seeing what they’re willing to share.

And even then, it’s easy to expect more. We want replies. We want attention. We want to feel like we matter to them, and when that doesn’t happen, it can feel personal. Like being ignored by someone we thought we knew.

The Messy Part: Projection & Disappointment

A lot of the time, it’s not even about them, it’s about us. We start projecting. Maybe they remind us of someone we miss or reflect something we want to be. We fill in the blanks with the version of them we want to see.

Then when they grow, change, or show us something different, it feels like a letdown. Like they switched up. But really, they didn’t. We just built a version of them in our heads, and they didn’t fit into it anymore.

Why It Happens (And Why It Makes Sense)

All of this? It’s normal. Real life is messy. Friendships take energy. Vulnerability is hard. So yeah, sometimes following someone online feels safer. You get the connection without the risk.

And honestly, it’s not weird. It’s human. We want to feel seen, and if a screen gives us that, even just for a second, we’ll take it.

So Where Do We Go From Here?

Parasocial relationships aren’t inherently bad. They’re pretty much built into the way the internet works now. But they’re worth thinking about. Are we admiring someone’s work, or asking them to carry something we haven’t dealt with ourselves?

It’s okay to care. It’s okay to feel connected. But we have to remember that closeness online isn’t always the same thing as closeness in real life. Just because someone feels familiar doesn’t mean they’re ours to know. Because at the end of the day, you don’t know them, even if it really, really feels like you do.